Newhart

1982 - 1990

How-to book writer, Dick Loudon, and his wife, Joanna, leave New York City behind to run a historical inn in a small town in Vermont inhabited by a cast of quirky characters.

Stars: Bob Newhart, Mary Frann, Tom Poston, Julia Duffy, Peter Scolari, William Sanderson, Tony Papenfuss, John Voldstad
Created by: Barry Kemp

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Episode Tropes

Season 1

Historical Whorehouse: Episode 1, "In the Beginning" (1982). While researching the history of the inn for a speech to the Daughters of the War for Independence, Dick discovers the Stratford used to be a whorehouse, and he has to spin it in his speech to avoid upsetting the Daughters.
Election: Episode 3, "Hail to the Councilman" (1982). Dick decides to run for town council and finds out it's not all it's cracked up to be.
No Room at the Inn: Episode 9, "No Room at the Inn" (1982). On Christmas Eve, a man named Joe breathlessly runs in asking for a room for him and his pregnant wife, but there's no room at the inn, so Dick and Joanna give them their room. Later, a man comes in asking to use the phone and identfies himself as Alan Wiseman, and he says his two brothers are waiting in the car.
Surprise Delivery: Episode 9, "No Room at the Inn" (1982). It's Christmas Eve, and Dick and Joanna are hosting a ski club for the weekend, but a blizzard ruins their plans and strands a pregnant woman and her husband at the inn. Of course, it's not long before the woman goes into labor, and as luck would have it, all 24 members of the ski club are doctors, and as they're desperate for something to do, they're more than happy to help deliver the baby.
Lie Detector: Episode 18, "The Boy Who Cried Goat" (1983). Kirk claims a man robbed his café at gunpoint, but because of his reputation in town, his insurance company isn't sure he's telling the truth, so they give him a lie detector test.
Close Encounter: Episode 19, "Heaven Knows Mr. Utley" (1983). George thinks he sees an alien spaceship in the sky above the inn, and when the town finds out, they ridicule him.
Big Mouth: Episode 20, "You're Homebody 'til Somebody Loves You" (1983). When Joanna joins Dick on a special Valentine's Day episode of his show, he broadcasts to all of Vermont that she's afraid of dust bunnies, leading to her giving him the silent treatment while the locals taunt her.
Poker Night: Episode 22, "I Enjoy Being a Guy" (1983). When Dick wins over $700 (roughly $2,200 in today's money) from Chester, Jim, and their professor friend betting on their golf game, he keeps playing them in poker to try lose so they can win their money back, but they're so bad at it that they keep losing more and more money.

Season 2

Milwaukee: Episodes 1-2, "It Happened One Afternoon" (1983). Dick travels to New York City to talk to an infamously promiscuous starlet about possibly ghostwriting her tell-all book, and she insists that she can't tell him all the intimate details of her love life unless she's "intimate" with him. She goes so far as to chase him around her hotel room, leading Dick to lock himself in the bathroom to get away from her.
The Old Pie in the Face Gag: Episode 10, "Kirk Goes for the Juggler" (1984). Kirk falls for wonderful woman named Cindy, but when he finds out she's a clown by trade, he's not sure he can deal with it. After he reveals his feelings to her, she tells him she can't stop being a clown, and he leaves, but he comes back a few minutes later and tells her he changed his mind. That's when Cindy gets him back in true clown fashion with a classic pie in the face.
Hot for Student: Episode 11, "Jug of Wine, Loaf of Bread & Pow" (1984). When Joanna joins Stephanie at a poetry reading at Dartmouth, the professor gets a little too friendly with her. Stephanie and Dick believe he's hitting on her, but Joanna's convinced he just shares her love of poetry. The next day, Joanna realizes Stephanie and Dick were right when the professor asks her to go away for the weekend, and when she declines, he proposes a "nooner."

Season 3

Practice Makes Perfect: Episode 2, "Twenty Year Itch" (1984). A guest at the inn, who plays the trumpet, is gearing up for a big audition, so he plays his trumpet day and night to practice. Despite his constant practicing, he's a terrible trumpet player.
Pyramid Scheme: Episode 5, "But Seriously, Beavers" (1984). Stephanie thinks she's scored a bunch of makeup for free, but she actually signed up for a pyramid scheme where she has to sell the makeup or pay over $600 (over $1,800 today) for it.
False Arrest: Episode 6, "Tickets, Please" (1984). Dick gets arrested for unpaid parking tickets that Stephanie secretly racked up with his car.
Ah, the Dribble Glass: Episode 7, "Poor Reception" (1984). George demonstrates all the practical jokes he has planned for his mischevious friend, Dutch, including a dribble glass, by basically pranking himself.
Worthless Worker: Episode 7, "Poor Reception" (1984). Michael hires Stephanie as a receptionist at the TV station, and she proves to be totally wrong for the job. When she unknowingly antagonizes the station manager and tears her $200 dress, the station manager orders Michael to fire her, but Michael is of course reluctant to do it, so he "promotes" her to Dick's secretary so Dick will have to do it.
See You in Court: Episode 9, "Happy Trials to You" (1984). A writer sues Dick for plagarizing his book on bathroom repair.
Reluctant Hero: Episode 12, "Local Hero" (1985). George rescues some kids who accidentally drove their snowmobile into a frozen lake, but he doesn't want anyone to know because he thinks fame would ruin his life like it did to a guy named Biff Davis who found a potato that looked like Clint Eastwood.
Big Mouth: Episode 14, "Once I had a Secret Love" (1985). When Joanna joins Dick on a special Valentine's Day episode of his show, he broadcasts to all of Vermont that she's afraid of dust bunnies, leading her her giving him the silentr treatment while the locals taunt her.
Insomnia: Episode 17, "My Fair Larry" (1985). A guest is struggling with insomnia, and George makes it his mission to try to cure him.
My Fair Lady: Episode 17, "My Fair Larry" (1985). Larry, Darryl, and Darryl ask Dick and Joanna for help attracting more customers to the Minuteman Café, so Joanna tries to teach them how to behave appropriately in polite society.
The Plots Thicken: Episode 20, "R.I.P. Off" (1985). Harley is selling burial plots, so Dick offers to buy some for him and Joanna, but Joanna says her parents already had a plot for her.
Let's Write a Song: Episode 21, "The Prodigal Darryl" (1985). Larry, Darryl, and Darryl win a contest by writing a popcorn jingle.

Season 4

Back to School: Episode 3, "Summa Cum Larry" (1985). Larry reveals that he never went to high school because he was afraid he wasn't "high school material," but when he realized he could beat a contestant on Jeopardy, he decides to go back to school to earn his diploma, and he asks Dick to tutor him.
Election: Episode 5, "Candidate Larry" (1985). When the incumbent mayor proposes bulldozing the woods, Larry decides to run against him in the upcoming election.
Dog Gone Blues: Episode 5, "Candidate Larry" (1985). A friend of Michael's is moving to New York, and he can't have pets in his new apartment, so he gives Michael his puppy, Juliette. Michael is thrilled; Stephanie not so much, but just as Stephanie starts to warm up to Juliette, Michael's friend is able to find a pet-friendly apartment, and Michael has to give the puppy back.
Who Owes Who What?: Episode 7, "The Geezers in the Band" (1985). George lends Michael $500, which Michael assures him he'll pay back in a week, but a week later, Michael has yet to pay George back, and he's spending stacks of cash on gifts for Stephanie, like a color TV, so George dismantles Michael's car to convince him to pay him back.
The Ascent of Stan: Episode 7, "The Geezers in the Band" (1985). When two out of three members of Dick's college jazz band, The Jazztones, show up at the inn (the third died three weeks ago), Dick starts to worry that his fun, wild and crazy days are behind him, so he convinces the other Jazztones to go tobogganing to prove they're still as exciting as they used to be, but they only make it 20 feet.
Big Brothers Big Sisters: Episode 11, "Much Ado About Mitch" (1986). George volunteers to be a big brother, but his little brother seems to prefer Dick.
Act of God: Episode 13, "Larry's Dead, Long Live Larry" (1986). While Harley is repairing the jukebox in the Minuteman Café, he accidentally electrocutes Larry, making his heart stop momentarily. When he comes to, he tells the gang that he met God, that God looked like Tootie from The Facts of Life, and that Tootie told him she was bringing him back to life so he could do something important for Dick and Joanna.
You Saved My Life: Episode 13, "Larry's Dead, Long Live Larry" (1986). While talking on the phone with Dick, Larry accidentally gets electrocuted and passes out. He hears Dick's voice on the phone as he's coming to, so he believes Dick brought him back to life to do a very important thing for him, and he starts hanging around Dick 24/7 waiting to find out what the thing is.
Will You Marry Me Again?: Episode 16, "I Do, Okay?" (1986). Joanna wants to have a vow renewal for her and Dick's anniversary because their original wedding was some kind of group wedding with two other couples.
Homemade Wedding Vows: Episode 16, "I Do, Okay?" (1986). For Dick and Joanna's vow renewal, Dick reads some vows he wrote for their original wedding but never used, and they're laughably outdated.
American Gigolo: Episode 18, "Will the Real Dick Loudon Please Stand Up?" (1986). To earn some extra money, Larry, Darryl, and Darryl decide to start an escort service, and they advertise with flyers at the Stratford.
Vanity Press: Episode 20, "Dwight Schmidlapp is Not a Quitter" (1986). Dick is offended when his publisher rejects one of his books because he put his old pen name on it, so he sends the book out to several other publishers, and one of them responds asking him for $2,000 so that he can be the first one in his neighborhood to have his name on a published book.
Pre-nup: Episode 24, "Pre-nups" (1986). Stephanie's father asks Michael to sign a pre-nup because he thinks Michael only loves Stephanie for her money.

Season 5

Crude Craft: Episode 2, "Camp Stephanie" (1986). George carves a miniature Mount Rushmore with the faces of his friends and gives it to Dick and Joanna to display in the inn, but they try to hide it because they think it's ugly.
It's a Jungle Out There: Episode 11, "Everybody Ought to Have a Maid" (1986). Stephanie breaks her toe when a rung breaks off of Georges ladder, and George becomes terrified that something horrible is going to happen to his friends, so he runs around the inn trying to fix and reinforce everything he can, and he warns everyone to be extra careful.
Cyrano de Bergerac: Episode 13, "Love Letters in Mud" (1987). Larry is in love with a woman named Jolene, but he's nervous about asking her out, so Michael helps him write her a love letter, but he writes it all in his signature "weird but personable" style, so when Larry receives a positive reply, he worries Jolene really likes Michael and not him.
False Arrest: Episode 18, "Jail, Jail, the Gang's All Here" (1987). Officer Shifflett arrests Larry, Darryl, and Darryl, for stealing a cow from a neighboring farm, but it turns out to be a setup so the farmer could take their land.

Season 6

What's My Name?: Episode 1, "Here's to You, Mrs. Loudon" (1987). George wants a nickname, so he asks Dick to help him come up with one, and he settles on "Dusty," but he changes his mind because he thinks someone calling out "Dusty" to him in a dangerous situation could be fatal if he doesn't realize they're talking to him.
School Reunion: Episode 4, "Me and My Gayle" (1987). George goes to his 40th high school reunion and decides to finally confess his not-so-secret crush on one of his classmates.
Desperate Telethon: Episode 10, "Telethon Man" (1987). The TV station is broke, and the staff refuses to work if they don't get paid, so Michael organizes a 48-hour telethon hosted by Dick. Unfortunately, the staff walks out early on, so Dick has to improvise while getting no sleep for two days.
Get a Raise: Episode 12, "Support Your Local Shifflet" (1987). Office Shifflet demands a raise from the Mayor Chester and "his sidekick Jim," but they turn him down, so he quits, thinking the town will descend into a hotbed of crime and beg him to come back, and when someone paints a fire hydrant bright red, Chester and Jim decide to hire him back to stop the "crime spree."
And Baby Makes Three: Episode 13, "My Three Dads" (1988). Larry, Darryl, and Darryl, decide they want a child, and since they can't convince any woman to marry one of them, they plan to adopt. The adoption agency lets them adopt a boy who's about to turn 18 and age out of foster care.
The Magician: Episode 14, "A Friendship That Will Last a Lunchtime" (1988). Larry, Darryl, and Darryl decide to become magicians as a way to entice customers into the Minuteman Café. To practice their act, they attempt to saw Dick in half, but as Larry lowers the saw, Dick asks him if he's "done this trick before," and Larry replies, "There's a trick?"
One and Done: Episode 16, "Would You Buy a Used Car from This Handyman" (1988). George finally gets a chance to live his dream of being a used car salesman, but after a few days, he's ready to call it quits and go back to being a handyman.
Milwaukee: Episode 19, "The Big Uneasy" (1988). Dick and Michael travel to New Orleans to try to sell Vermont Today into syndication. A beautiful network executive says she'll buy the show only if Michael sleeps with her, and he plans to do it right up until the last minute.

Season 7

This Blood's for You: Episode 3, "This Blood's for You" (1988). Stephanie has to have her appendix removed, and due to a complication, she needs a blood transfusion. She has a rare blood type, and the only other person in town with that blood type is Darryl #2.
12 Angry Men: Episode 7, "12 Annoyed Men and Women" (1989). Dick serves on a jury, where one guy insists on voting the opposite way from everyone else because he's lonely and doesn't want the trial to end.
Time Capsule: Episode 9, "Shoe Business is My Life" (1989). Larry, Darryl, and Darryl decide to bury a time capsule, and they ask the gang at the Stratford to contribute items to it, then they dig it up a week later because Darryl put in a library book.
Poker Night: Episode 12, "Cupcake on My Back" (1989). Dick and George play poker with Chester and Jim, and when Jim catches Chester cheating, they get into a fight that threatens to end their lifelong friendship.
Waldorf Hysteria: Episode 16, "The Little Match Girl" (1989). After Michael has a confrontation with Stephanie and a date in a restaurant, he gets arrested and is given the option to spend 14 days in jail or in a sanitarium; he chooses the sanitarium.
Because He's My Butler: Episode 19, "Homes and Jo-Jo" (1989). A deceased relative leaves Darryl #2 a butler, and the butler drops surreptitous notes begging everyone else to help him get away.
Write What You Know: Episode 21, "Murder at The Stratley" (1989). Dick writes a murder mystery novel set at a historic New England inn called "The Stratley" that bears a strong resemblance to the Stratford, and all the characters bear striking resemblances to the staff and townspeople, so much so that the whole town starts to think Dick murdered Joanna in real life.

Season 8

The Shrine: Episode 13, "Beauty and the Pest" (1990). A man tells Joanna he wants her to help him buy a house, but he turns down every house she shows him. Finally, she goes to his current house to get an idea of what he likes, and she discovers he has a shrine to her complete with a mannequinn with her face pasted on it.
The Old Pie in the Face Gag: Episode 16, "Seein' Double" (1990). In Michael and Stephanie's sitcom pilot, identical twins Jody and Judy (both played by Stephanie), think the real grim reaper is at the door to take their father, so they devise a scheme to throw a pie in the reaper's face.
Going My Way: Episode 19, "Georgie and Grace" (1990). George has been feeling depressed lately, so when a group of priests stay at the Stratford, he decides he wants to join them.
Poker Night: Episode 21, "Dick and Tim" (1990). Dick discovers he's been left out of a weekly poker game George, Michael, Larry, Darryl, and Darryl have been holding with Tim Conway, and he insists on joining them. Just a few minutes into the game, Dick unintentionally makes a faux pas that makes Tim Conway storm out.
Long Lost Parent: Episode 22, "Father Goose" (1990). Michael auditions an actor named Tad Burrows to play "Giddy Goose" in a new children's show on WPIV, and after Michael gives him the part, Tad reveals that he's actually Michael's father. Michael is incensed at Tad for abandoning him and his mother, but he can't fire him becuase he's so good at playing a goose.

Character Tropes

Mild Mannered Man-child: George Utley - Played by Tom Poston.
Backwoods Bumpkins: Larry, Darryl, & Darryl - Played by William Sanderson, Tony Papenfuss, & John Voldstad
Rich Snob: Stephanie Vanderkellen - Played by Julia Duffy.
Mommie Dearest: Lily Casiano - Played by Ruth Manning in season 4, episode 12, "Look Ma, No Talent" (1986).
Extreme Cheapskate: Tim Conway - Played by Tim Conway in season 8, episode 21, "Dick and Tim" (1990).
Perennial Pranskter: Dutch - George's unseen friend.